Webshit Weekly

December 31, 2025

Google’s healthcare AI made up a body part – what if doctors don’t notice?

2025-12-22 | comments

Google has achieved true progress by deploying a medical automated plagiarism engine that treats human anatomy as a loose guideline. The token predictor, incapable of understanding biology because it is essentially a glorified slot machine, confidently invented a “basilar ganglia,” a body part that exists only in the fever dreams of a VC pitch deck. Naturally, the apologists are dismissing this lethal hallucination as a “simple misspelling,” because nothing inspires confidence like your oncologist relying on software that flunked high school biology.

Hackernews wastes no time miscorrecting each other on Latin roots and space shuttle maintenance, completely missing the catastrophic failure of “vibe coding” applied to healthcare. They debate semantics with the intensity of a webshit defending his broken build script, oblivious to the reality that the tech industry is desperate to replace expensive professionals with chatbots to juice the stock price. We are rapidly approaching a future where your diagnosis is determined by an AI hallucinating organs, and the only treatment available is a daily dose of venture capital bullshit delivered directly to your frontal lobe. The great fraud continues, and we are all just test data for the digital landlords.

Ask HN: Why isn’t there competition to LinkedIn yet?

2025-12-22 | comments

Hackernews wastes time asking why nobody has disrupted LinkedIn (business model: Facebook for sociopaths), ignoring that the entire industry is built on the shared trauma of mandatory self-promotion. The usual suspects chime in about “network effects,” apparently mistaking a hostage situation for a feature. The answer is painfully obvious: nobody wants to build a database for HR bots because the only people who use LinkedIn are middle managers, tech influencers, and recruiters who think “synergy” is a real word. You can’t compete with a platform whose primary value proposition is forcing people to endure corporate slop just to pay rent.

I didn’t realize my LG TV was spying on me until I turned off Live Plus

2025-12-23 | comments

A webshit realizes the glowing rectangle they bought is actually a surveillance node for LG. Hackernews sighs, having spent the last twelve years diligently pointing out that every consumer electronics company is a data-broker in disguise, yet somehow still surprised that nothing has changed. The comments devolve into a pissing contest over who runs the most esoteric network sinkhole, with users miscorrecting each other on whether disabling a setting actually stops the spying or just hides the “enabled” light. The debate shifts from corporate malfeasance to firewall configurations, proving that in tech, the only winning move is to treat your living room like a hostile network environment managed by digital feudal lords who charge you rent for your own eyes.

Nvidia to buy assets from Groq for $20B cash

2025-12-24 | comments

Nvidia (business model: Uber for Technofeudalism) drops $20B to buy the only company threatening its monopoly on selling shovels to vibe-coding webshits. The Great Fraud continues as the market for automated plagiarism engines consolidates into a single-player game. Hackernews weeps for the loss of “genuine alternative technology,” ignoring that Groq’s entire business model was to look tasty enough for Jensen Huang to devour. The HNers miscorrect each other about antitrust regulations, naively believing that laws apply to digital feudal lords, while GroqCloud is left as a hollowed-out husk running on hardware it no longer owns. It’s just another Tuesday in the aura-farming sector, where competition is just a pre-packaged exit strategy.

UBlockOrigin and UBlacklist AI Blocklist

2025-12-25 | comments

Desperate webshits compile a blocklist to filter the internet’s endless supply of “vibe coding” artifacts, hoping to stave off the inevitable entropic AI death of the web. The list, a neurotic vendetta that targets specific Amazon coloring books alongside SEO-slop, serves as a pathetic testament to the illusion of control in the age of token predictors. Hackernews miscorrects each other on the morality of GenAI, debating whether it’s a useful tool or just tech-debt generation for digital feudal lords, while ignoring that the entire ecosystem has already pivoted. You can’t block the future, even if it is just hallucinated garbage.

A Wealth Tax Floated in California Has Billionaires Thinking of Leaving

2025-12-26 | comments

California’s digital landlords are threatening to take their ball and go home if the state taxes their hoards. This is of course the same crowd that spent years explaining that the gig economy was the future of work because “flexibility,” but apparently their own geographic flexibility is a violation of their basic human rights. The article treats the threat of billionaires relocating as a serious economic concern, rather than the obvious bluff it is — Silicon Valley’s entire business model relies on proximity to the venture capital ATM and a supply of underpaid engineers willing to accept ‘exposure’ and ‘equity’ as compensation. If these digital feudal lords actually left, they’d have to find some other jurisdiction willing to tolerate their “disruptive” approach to labor law, their “agentic” approach to privacy, and their general aura of being the main characters in a society they’re actively dismantling. Hackernews, naturally, has strong opinions on tax policy that are completely disconnected from the reality that the industry they work in exists solely to dodge regulations and concentrate wealth in the hands of people who think they’re geniuses for buying Bitcoin early.

Elon Musk drops sustainable from Tesla’s mission as he completes his villain arc

2025-12-26 | comments

Elon Musk, the galaxy-brained poster child for the Dunning-Kruger effect, deletes a word from his company’s “About” page, sending the tech press into a spiral of performative grief. The “villain arc” narrative implies a prior era of heroism, ignoring that Tesla (business model: Uber for carbon offsets for the rich) has always been a grift fueled by government cheese and aggressive posing. The Hackernews comments section is a wasteland of tech-bros miscorrecting each other, with one particular genius unironically deploying a “thermal management” metaphor to explain why a billionaire acts like a cartoon character obsessed with “thermal runaway.” Others debate “Google preferred sources,” proving that webshits will enthusiastically discuss ad-tech plumbing while the actual house burns down. The realization that “sustainable” was merely a marketing gloss to separate venture capital from reality arrives just in time for the brand to become a status symbol for people who think voting is for poors. There was no pivot, no tragic fall; just the inevitable decay of a hype machine once the “growth at all costs” algorithm hits the hard limit of physics. The mission isn’t energy transition, it’s transferring wealth from taxpayers to the portfolios of temporarily embarrassed billionaires, and nobody in the Bay Area is capable of caring.

Say No to Palantir in the NHS

2025-12-27 | comments

The British public attempts to stop the NHS (business model: Uber for waiting rooms) from outsourcing its soul to Palantir (business model: Uber for dystopian surveillance), but the webshits on Hackernews are too busy arguing about whether a dashboard is pretty enough to facilitate war crimes. The comments section devolves into a game of moral purism gymnastics, where users demand a boycott of the entire tech industry while admitting they all work for the companies they hate. One genius argues that the NHS needs Palantir’s ‘skillset’ for ‘aura farming’ on patient data, confusing political lobbying with technical competence. The rest of the thread is a depressing display of ‘vibe coding’ apologists insisting that because organizing spreadsheets is hard, we must hire the digital feudal lords who built the Guantanamo Bay dashboard. Naturally, the most spirited bikeshedding centers around a broken cookie banner on the protest site, because when you’re staring into the abyss of late-stage capitalism, the only thing that matters is that the GDPR popup doesn’t trigger the webshits.

CEOs are hugely expensive. Why not automate them? (2021)

2025-12-28 | comments

The tech industry, desperate to find a use for its automated plagiarism engines, asks why we can’t replace the digital landlords at the top with a clanker. Hackernews enters the chat to debate Delaware corporate law and whether an LLM can fulfill fiduciary duties, completely ignoring that modern management is just aura farming anyway. If you replaced the CEO with a script that says “synergy” every five minutes, the stock price wouldn’t move, but the board would panic because they couldn’t play golf with a text file. The industry assumes that adding “agentic” to a job description makes it automatable, forgetting that the primary function of a CEO is to serve as a human shield while the VCs loot the corpse.

AI employees don’t pay taxes

2025-12-29 | comments

A webshit realizes that token predictors don’t pay income tax, and pretends this is a tragic oversight rather than the primary feature of our incoming techno-feudalism. The article wails about the loss of payroll revenue, failing to grasp that the business model of the current AI boom (business model: Uber for replacing you with a stochastic parrot) relies entirely on externalizing costs to the serfs. Hackernews steps in to solve late-stage capitalism with a spirited game of “miscorrect the tax code,” debating the nuances of Universal Basic Income while the digital feudal lords liquidate the human resources department. We are treated to the usual delusional optimism about “agentic” systems paying their share, and the standard doomer predictions about concentration camps, neither of which will matter because the government can’t tax a hallucination. The entire thread is a masterclass in vibe coding economic policy, where a bunch of soon-to-be-unemployed developers argue about whether the robots will own us or merely starve us, completely ignoring that the only thing these clankers will generate is a vacuum where a middle class used to be. The Great Fraud continues unabated, funded by the savings from firing you.

NYC Mayoral Inauguration bans Raspberry Pi and Flipper Zero alongside explosives

2025-12-30 | comments

The NYC government has classified Raspberry Pis as explosive devices, proving that the only thing scarier than a bomb is a developer with a spare Saturday. Hackernews responds with the usual “vibe coding” approach to legal interpretation, arguing that since the police report didn’t specify Orange Pi, they can technically smuggle microcontrollers in by pretending they’re donuts — as one does to political rallies, apparently, because what’s a good political gala without a wifi-sniffing microcontroller in your pocket?

Tesla owner completes first autonomous drive across America

2025-12-31 | comments

A marketing stunt for a digital landlord results in a “zero intervention” cross-country trip, or so claims a viral X thread summarized by the New York Post. The reality is that a glorified slot machine on wheels managed not to kill anyone for 2,700 miles, a bar so low it’s buried in the earth, yet is treated as the second coming of transportation. Hackernews wastes its time miscorrecting each other over the validity of the dashcam logs, entirely ignoring that the business model remains “Uber for beta-testing your own funeral.” The tech industry celebrates this marketing ploy as a milestone, proving once again that if you try enough times, eventually it stops hallucinating long enough to park itself. We are all just passengers in someone else’s vibe coding session now.