Webshit Weekly

October 21, 2025

Google runs Israel’s ads: ‘There is food in Gaza’

2025-10-15 | comments

Google has happily accepted a fat stack of cash to run propaganda denying a famine, proving that the “organize the world’s information” mission statement was replaced years ago with “organize the world’s atrocities, provided the CPM is high enough.” Hackernews, naturally, leaps into action to solve this humanitarian crisis not by examining the moral vacuum of Silicon Valley, but by shilling YouTube Premium and uBlock Origin, because the only thing a webshit loves more than aura farming is the delusion that installing a browser extension can dismantle systemic rot. The comments are a predictable mix of pedantic debating about the legal definitions of political lying and conspiracy theories about the founders’ heritage, completely missing the point that programmatic advertising is now just an automated engine for state-sponsored disinformation. It’s vibes for foreign policy, where the goal is to shout at the algorithm until it hallucinates a reality that doesn’t make shareholders uncomfortable. The great fraud continues unabated, and everyone is too busy miscorrecting each other about ad attribution to care that the “don’t be evil” clause was quietly replaced with “don’t interrupt the ad revenue stream.” The tech industry has finally optimized itself into a pipeline where cash flows in one direction and human rights flow out the other.

K8s with 1M nodes

2025-10-16 | comments

A webshit decides that the only thing standing between them and glory is a Kubernetes cluster large enough to simulate a small nation’s GDP, but only if they disable the database entirely. The blog post details a “reference architecture” (business model: “Uber for Resume Padding”) that sacrifices the entire point of etcd for the sake of a headline number, engaging in some high-stakes vibe coding where “durability” is just another word for “not cool enough.” Hackernews obligingly turns the comment section into a tedious debate on the definition of “node,” carefully avoiding the obvious question: who the hell needs this? One brave soul points out that if you remove the reliability guarantees of the control plane, you aren’t running Kubernetes anymore, you are just running SSH with extra steps. The rest of the thread is a parade of “agentic” developers miscorrecting each other about HPC schedulers and Erlang, proving once again that the tech industry will spend millions reinventing the wheel, but only if the new wheel is square and requires a proprietary tire pump. The entire exercise is a testament to the great fraud: solving problems nobody has using solutions that don’t work, all for the sake of an article that can be posted on LinkedIn.

Salesforce Pitched a ‘Talent Acquisition’ Contract to ICE

2025-10-17 | comments

Salesforce has officially pivoted from “vibe coding” the future of work to directly monetizing the machinery of state violence. Marc Benioff, a digital feudal lord who usually hawks overpriced software by quoting Eastern philosophy he doesn’t understand, has decided that “Ohana” apparently includes ICE detention centers. It is exhausting, though not surprising, to see the industry’s “captains of industry” line up to fellate the upcoming administration just to keep the quarterly growth numbers from flatlining. Hackernews, shocked — shocked! — that a company built on the premise of “trailblazing” would act like a generic evil conglomerate, fills the thread with desperate miscorrectings about the nature of capitalism. The webshits in the comments pretend there is a complex ethical dilemma here, ignoring that the entire tech sector is just a grift to see who can get the closest to the government trough first. There is no “talent acquisition” tool here; it’s just another automated bureaucracy generator designed to strip-mine human dignity for a line item on a balance sheet. The writing was on the wall the moment these companies realized that the only thing more profitable than selling subscriptions to morons is selling “agent technology” to tyrants.

‘Dangerous design choices’ trapped teens in Cybertruck crash, lawsuit claims

2025-10-18 | comments

The electric fidget spinner manufacturer is back in the news because their latest steel wedge traps occupants like it’s a feature, not a bug. Hackernews, desperate to protect their favorite digital feudal lord from liability, dusts off the “Swiss cheese model” to explain why dead teenagers are actually a user error. Instead of acknowledging that a car shouldn’t require a secret handshake to exit during a fire, the thread fills up with armchair coroners explaining how grandpa should have code-reviewed his grandson’s permission levels before handing over the keys. It’s classic vibe-based engineering: if the door release logic isn’t intuitive, that’s a skill issue on the part of the burning passenger. The tech industry remains convinced that if they just ignore a century of safety standards, they can innovate their way out of basic physics, and HN is right there cheering for the deletion of the escape hatch.

Marine park threatens to euthanize 30 whales if Canada does not provide funding

2025-10-19 | comments

A failing theme park (business model: “Uber for chlorinated prisons”) is pivoting to state-sponsored extortion, threatening to liquidate their biological assets unless the government injects liquidity. Hackernews ignores the financial shakedown to miscorrect each other on marine biology, debating the technical specs of “rewilding” as if the whales are legacy code that just need a refactor. The consensus is that the CEO is a digital feudal lord demanding a ransom, proving that the only viable exit strategy for this failing startup is holding the whales hostage in a desperate bid for a government bailout.

Elon Musk threatens to leave Tesla if he doesn’t get his ridiculous pay

2025-10-20 | comments

Elon Musk threatens to take his ball and go home unless the board rewards him for aura farming a stock price supported entirely by lies about robotaxis. The digital feudal lord has successfully created a hostage situation where the only thing keeping the company from zero is the collective delusion of its shareholders. Hackernews, realizing they are trapped in a Ponzi scheme run by a man who spends his days shouting “interesting” on X, decide to argue about P/E ratios instead. The comments section devolves into a circular firing squad of “webshits” miscorrecting each other about whether the company is a car manufacturer or a sci-fi cult, all while the great fraud continues to extract value from the gullible.

The Lottery-fication of Everything

2025-10-21 | comments

Robinhood (business model: “Uber for financial ruin”) has discovered that gambling mechanics work even better when applied to actual markets, and their options trading business now operates with the extraction efficiency of a slot machine. Hackernews users immediately discuss how to implement more sophisticated gambling mechanics into their investment strategies, carefully explaining why their particular gambling preference is mathematically superior to other forms of gambling, while missing the point that they’ve all been funneled into casino capitalism. The discussion naturally evolves into speculation about new financial instruments that can be used to extract wealth from people with poor impulse control, with the consensus being that if Robinhood isn’t already doing it, they should be. The webshits have fully embraced their role as digital feudal lords extracting value from their serfs through increasingly opaque financial mechanisms.